Blogging in April - Forgiveness

The weather is picking up - yes! It's been a long wait and nature rewards me in my little garden with replacing greyish green and mud to ecstatic lime green foliage carrying pink and yellow blossom! Ah - the power of transformation! I had almost forgotten.

The sunshine feels so good delivering unexpected warmth, clear energy and yearning for summer! Devouring appreciation. Forgiveness We are moving on to a new season, shedding the old and the stale In recent years I have learnt a whole lot about forgiveness. Well, I had to or become an old bitter and ugly woman, so ... no way! I'm telling you, it was not easy! So damn hard! I kept on getting stuck, wanting to forgive but literally feeling this huge knot of rumbling angry blob in my tummy area. But you know what? The most important thing for me to get started to forgive was to be ( increasingly) conscious of it. To not wanting that thought of "having been hard done by" quite so often.

To somehow get on another emotional frequence. I was done with it but I didn't know how to get from "the slow ride to bitterland" (ha ha, great expression isn't it) to "the joy of just being, being happy for no reason ." I had clearly practiced it well, it was a BIG file in my memory bank. I became curious about how to get to that new horizon, the area of non judgement. I had little snapshots of them, watching my teenaged children in a state of bliss just joking around, listening to a kind co worker, receiving unexpecting kindness from a stranger, watching nature in its full beauty.

Then, the next step was reading up about it, to talk to friends and colleagues about it. This anger of unforgiveness kept creeping back though, especially on days when I'm running late, an unforseen high bill arrives at home or the kids are in a bad mood. Anger and resentment can trigger easily. The need to blame it all and instantly on the things that I couldn't forgive.... hm Fastforward : It has paid off, I have put the work in. I received help in being coached to what is serving me, I watched youtube tutorials, I was open to receive ideas. I ask questions to those people who seem to carry little resentment. "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."

I am grateful for my lessons so I can write a new story for myself. The new story is totally excellent. And it is very beautiful. Would love to tell you one day!

As always, I love to connect with you and hear your responses. Keep moving, it's spring and it's a perfect time for change.

Siska x

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