‘If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.’ – Wayne Dyer
Wouldn't it be brilliant to be able to do just that very easily? That often appears so difficult for some of us. Yet so good when we feel we can tweak our emotional state and thoughts so that we can enjoy and contribute from a place of love and resourcefulness. Then we are more relaxed and feel good.
How we view the situations and people that surround us has an effect on us. Because we think very much from the information of memory and past events it is super useful to shed ego as much as possible and to be open to opportunities from a point of view which remembers how to create connection, love, inspiration, intelligence, choices, unity, gratitude, joy and forgiveness. When we are tempted to judge and reproduce self automated responses to situations or people we get stuck in separateness, anger, fear, anxiety and hurt. None of us wants to experience this often, we want to step up as leaders and not get bogged down in revenge and anger.
The best way of creating communication in situations we don't particularly like is to ask good questions. To understand what motivates a person you don't understand as a personality you need to ask the extra follow up questions rather than stick to only one. For example, how come it is so important to you that xyz happens? What do you like about xyz?
Invest in giving people opportunities for change and communication but don't invest further if there is no response or appreciation. Appreciation, fun and good boundaries in place, the magic recipe!
One of the most fascinating discoveries I have encountered in my NLP work is when there is a clear contrast in communication between two people, and the NLP coach continues to ask great questions so that the other person feels increasingly more understood, heard and becomes more open to communicating rather than blocking, using cynicism or other masking techniques. Miracles happen when we apply innovative knowledge and stay in a non-confrontational frame of mind.
So befriending our mind, being ok with the mind chatter and inevitably critical self talk that us humans have and acknowledging where you are at without judgement is growth.
Last week I had the great fortune to help a few people with 20-minute taster sessions, all of these change makers wanted to get rid of anxious feelings and replace them with feeling very good. It was incredible to see the smiles on their faces after only 20 minutes! I feel very privileged to have the trust of so many people to achieve happiness and change.
We have the power to reframe our self-talk messages into empowering messages that serve us today and we have the choices to acquire skills to better ourselves if we choose to.
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