Why living life on your terms is not selfish


Midlife is great thing. You have had so many enriching experiences in a wide range of things. You have earned the stripes - as a parent, as a partner, as a stepparent, in your career. Seriously, our society and traditional upbringing prepares of many fantastic things. But I am unsure it prepares us for communicating effectively or to love ourselves unconditionally of outer circumstances.

Tony Robbins says "to live an extraordinary life you have to live life on your terms." What precisely dos that mean?

What are your terms? Is it important to you to contribute towards society and have a lasting impact on people, is it non negotiable for you to reach a certain goal in your career or do you focus on keeping healthy and fit so that your loved ones will be able to spend as long as possible around you?

Lets get real about what excites us and sets our soul on fire! Because that is key here.

We agree that people pleasing gets you nowhere fast, right? It takes courage not have all the answers at once. Allowing uncertainty rather than have security is something which many people are very uncomfortable with.

Get comfortable with uncertainty, this is really important for your growth. Allow that things can change, ask good questions to listen to what makes people tick.

Lean in to yourself when you want a certain outcome to happen or when you have a strong opinion about somebody's lifestyle. Why do you need that certainty, do you feel criticized if somebody's style differs from yours?

You see, we are creatures of habits. Our neurology is wired up to stay in our comfort zone. Our human brain is designed to keep us safe; it isn't designed to make us happy. The negative electron is always the faster one when transmitting a thought in our nervous system. We have to literally train ourselves to stay / become happy and have habits and strategies in place that serve us to feel grateful, compassionate, exhilarated, joyful, loving or intrigued.

As Wayne Dyer says, we are spiritual beings who have a human experience here on earth.

Meeting your needs makes you fulfilled and deeply happy. Self-sacrifice often means people haven't been allowed to be conscious of their needs or they have a victim story they cannot quite let go of.

Meeting your needs. This doesn't mean that you suddenly stop doing the ironing, preparing meals or doing your kids a big favor. But it means that you have a much stronger awareness of what you need first for yourself in order to be the best parent, the devoted partner or the switched on team leader. Because when you look after your needs you enjoy doing it, you pour from a full cup. It's so much easier and fun when you have your needs met.

For many of us in 2018 there is a calling to enjoy more. To operate from ease and flow and do things that we mostly naturally enjoy. To stop doing things we ought to, we should, to please others. I am switching to enjoyment as much as possible and am fully committed to allowing an extraordinary life to weave its spell around me. I'm ready!

Siska xoxo

I would love to connect with you and hear from you on my FB Page at Redman Coaching or IG redman_coaching


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