The art of self-care


"I am convinced that this whole self-love thing needs an elevation to an art form!"

As I am sitting in a supremely comfortable sitting room all by myself with a roaring fire in Babington House, I feel really really good as I unwind disproportionately and revel in the sensation. I have just met some really interesting people from the art and music world and that was fun.

I chat to the trainee about how I am sometimes less resourceful with finding really fantastic subjects for my blogs. He promptly says "just write about why you joined our club!" which sure is an ace marketing strategy and it also reflects my honest experience. Bingo!

I recently treated myself to a membership with Soho House group so I can relax and look after myself well and at the same time use the London houses of Soho House, White City etc to check in with my London clients. I invested in my health and my wellbeing. That sounds really cliche but I have experienced it as an instant "feel good" accelerator. It's the effect you have when you are on holiday in a beautiful destination: Everything changes like you want it to change, everything is done for you - the food is so different and delicious, the foreign language is so invigorating and beautiful, everything looks and smells different - and you get to choose. As humans, we have a great need for variety and growth, especially for a person who loves creativity and needs an expansion of the mind to keep interest at a high level.

We could, of course, mobilize our inner resources constantly and be of an entrepreneurial mindset and create change and opportunities all the time. But humans like certainty and security on the whole.

Do you have a strong need for growth and uncertainty instead? Then you might create change with ease and accept that you have some wins and some losses.

But to those who enjoy creating new content, new recipes, ideas, thought material, paintings, music, poetry, a completely different strategy in your leadership or a brand new business - those people need to create from a full cup, not from survival mode.

How do you recharge best and what are your patterns for self-care?

Is it that you have to...

- see something great and beautiful

- feel really good and comfy or stimulated

- do you need touch and a kinesthetic input, like a massage or yoga

- do you relax with smells, like aromatherapy oils or cooking

- do you need movement like in sports or dancing to completely relax?

I find it extraordinary that as humans with an ancient brain we are so wired to survival and getting by that we can be quite unaware of our need to feel really really good regularly. Sure, some people are better than others looking after themselves (any Leos out there? Little joke... ha, Leos are meant to look after themselves well aren't they?) but why on earth do we allow, so often, to let ourselves run down when we could have seen exhaustion and stress coming?

Is self-care something we learn as we grow older and remember our patterns so that we make better and more pleasing choices?

What are your needs for feeling on top of your self-care?

Habit and daily rituals have a lot to do with it. My morning routine is still a challenge for me - I know it's important but mornings are not my high energy time.

My community of fellow coaches mostly have a strict morning routine of priming (a Tony Robbins technique of breathing and gratitude, check it out on YouTube or the blog here), journalling with a long list of things people are grateful for or what they love doing to get in a high vibe state quickly.

As an empath I like being in hermit mode more than most, I enjoy time by myself just wandering around the house, spending time in nature with my dogs, joking around and playing music.

I also do love being around the buzz of lots of people at work and I love socializing a lot - but I need to check in with my own source energy more than most people. An extrovert partner would be a real challenge for me, my daughter is very extrovert and I admire her energy and sense of fun. I find it exhausting to maintain, however. We respect each other's boundaries and love and adore each other. My son is totally tuned in to my energy and it is hilarious how in synch we operate. What is your experience of this?

I am getting distracted…

Self-care is a beautiful thing. I find it incredibly beautiful when an alpha male man tells me how exactly he turned around his dead-end stress situation at work and how he changed his systems, beliefs and habits to take care of himself better. I find those sort of transformational stories fascinating. How a high achieving woman has identified how she can earn just as much income by stepping out of the norm and usual expectation of "grind and hustle" mentality. That mentality is so yesterday! Whom are we thinking of fooling into telling everyone that we are SO busy and that we are being so important? Is that an indication of low self-worth? I think so, bang on!

But of course, I get it. A corporate job comes with the expectation of a grind and hustle mentality but the looming burnout hangs right next to it like a salami, right?

Are you in a position to influence your work environment to be as productive and also allow space for creativity, honesty and empowering your colleagues? Can you take a small step in that direction and how? This is a fascinating subject.

Ariana Huffington and Gary V are great examples of creating work environments which have quite unusual rules, check it out!

I am super grateful and happy with my recent learnings. And there have been incredible mentors and colleagues on the way this year again. To be honest, my friendship group is changing as we speak. I am attracting change and great growth! 2018 has overall been a year for me to heal more deeply on a very personal level and face overcoming limitation. It has been a really creative year with lots of writing, both content and also music. I have mastered procrastination in my creativity and that feels really brilliant.

Self-care is a new thing. It is an important ritual and habit to come back to your beautiful self and your source energy. There is only one you, Rockstar! I cannot wait to hear about your latest successes and light bulb moments. I love hearing your responses and experiences.

Wishing you peace and good health for this Xmas.

Siska x

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